the old red barn stands
all doors and windows missing
the rain falls inside

—Maurice Rivard

copyright 2001 maurice rivard

About the author: maurice rivard
snowman_cape at

Responses to the haiku for 30 January 2001 by Maurice Rivard

    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-09-08 22:50:34

    extremely wordy, superfluous, (verbose);
    here's a possible remake, not to say it should be made over this way, simply my thoughts on how effective it could have been.

    old red barn
    uncovered openings

    at times, you can be overly descriptive, informative, or simply wordy.

    Vasile Moldovan (vasilemoldovan at yahoo dot com)
    2004-11-23 01:32:51

    It is's rain -
    within the old red barn
    a new grey pond

    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2005-05-25 18:17:21

    seeds in winter
    on the ground --
    abandon barn doors