"Barnes & Noble" --
in all the round letters
bird nests

—Bill Waters

About the author: Bill Waters
Titusville, NJ
bnwaters at verizon.net


Responses to the haiku for 18 July 2003 by Bill Waters

    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-07-18 06:42:10

    bill, i feel you are assisting the reader, in the enjoyment of your writing.
    i think it has been referred to as pointing.

    you might try something along this line:

    "Barnes & Noble" --

    (some birds' nests)
    the round letters house
    (almost as though you are saying, "did you hear about the birds' nests...")

    you definitely have exhibited a moment, but show it to the reader without the presence or feeling you are giving an explanation in fear of the reader not knowing exacty where and exactly what you are picturing; be more, seemingly matter-of-fact or even, by-the-way.

    deborah russell (sellwein at hotmail dot com)
    2003-07-19 09:56:03

    Ah, this is a nice one. It brought me back to the site.

    Ellen G. Olinger (ElinGrace at wi dot rr dot com)
    2003-07-19 10:49:23

    Thanks, Bill. I like the symmetry of the round letters and nests. Also, the heartening effect of finding nature's gifts in unexpected places, along with the picture of "nesting" with good books.

    Perhaps our editor could forward this to Barnes and Noble, too!

    Best wishes, Ellen

    Michael Meyerhofer (angry_seraph at yahoo dot com)
    2003-07-22 11:25:17

    I liked this as well. The image of the sign above a bookstore--the latter being a mecca for literature and culture, juxtaposed with an advertisement--is already a compelling one, but the addition of the birds' nests makes the whole bit seem delightfully silly. I also agree with Ellen about the symmetry of the image. I actually can't think of any constructive criticism for this poem; in my opinion, I'd say it's top-notch.

    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-07-24 23:08:27

    i dislike focusing on other's critique; well, not really.

    the mind is an amazing thing, all that gray, that matters; who is to say the 5/6 we don't use might well have been in disagreement with what we finally think.

    i can heard someone saying or perhaps thinking, "bob you should know".

    each of my fellow constituents have, what they feel is a valid point/points.
    from this point on, i'll be somewhat anonymous in my agreements/disagreements with anyone.

    i, too, thought it was cute, yet at times cuteness doesn't cut it.

    i was in agreement with another concerning finding things in the strangest of places, however for all of barnes and noble's literary trade-ware, what would they think, if this was put in front of them; i must not forget the free publicity.

    ah yes, one more, "i can't think of any constructive criticism", i ponder if they might pull out jane's rules or any rules for that matter, what would their thoughts be.

    there's more...

    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-07-24 23:15:56

    and now...

    in hindsight i wonder if they weighed my opinion; though just as quickly, i remembered their calling this a top notch "poem", and not a haiku.

    the thought comes to mind, has anyone been into a barnes and noble of late, seemingly more of the same most book stores have in offering, a commercial venture.

    "mecca", hmmm, i have a stack of cliffs notes that beg to differ. i might suggest venturing into your closest library for the genuine literary nuggets found in a mecca.

    there was some feasibility here, however in the reread, i stumbled across a segmented sentence.

    "barnes & noble", in all the round letters, bird nests.

    symmetry, is there some stark reality to my words being seen in black and white...

    john tiong chunghoo
    2003-12-31 22:06:10

    docile rabbit
    with cocked ears

    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-29 04:31:22

    strange, i had not noticed, there's only one round letter ...

    "Barnes & N(o)ble"

    homeless man
    beneath the bridge ...
    so many pigeon nests

    Peter Newton
    2013-07-18 17:28:31

    fun to go back and read randomly--such passion for words