autumn thunder
in the distance
a train whistle

—Don Miller

About the author: I have been living, working, writing and raising a family in the Chihuahuan Desert of Southern New Mexico for about 20 years now. In addition to this poem, I have writings in and/or forthcoming in The Raintown Review, The Heron's Nest, Simply Haiku and RIBBONS.

Responses to the haiku for 22 November 2006 by Don Miller

    anthony slauson
    2006-11-22 02:33:26

    the teakettle whistles...
    after my apology

    David Fox (davidirafox at yahoo dot com)
    2006-11-22 16:38:30

    2 nice haikus, Don and Anthony! I love Autumn and the whistle of teakettles, as well as trains. Brought back a lot of nostalgia.
    ~David Fox

    J. Richards (jrichards12 at comcast dot net)
    2006-11-22 17:40:01

    This seems like a relatively common haiku; I feel the poem doesn't really convey what makes the moment special.

    b. m. richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2006-11-24 04:49:06

    j., i'm in agreement with you; encompassing my thoughts for some previous haiku(s). in don's haiku, i felt the setting was brilliant; though much of what could have been said was left unobserved, seemingly sterile.


    quizzical murder of crows--
    question asked
    others answer

    Ed Schwellenbach
    2006-11-24 21:08:50

    I find this poem wonderfully fascinating because of its ambiguity. On one reading, the thunder is in the distance; on my next reading, the whistle is. Couple this with the contrasts of the two sounds when one is distance, and then when the other is distant. And then there are comparisons of the sounds etc. I have explored about six moments here. Good job, Don!

    Alan Summers
    2006-11-25 05:41:46

    That's the thing about haiku, it doesn't have to work with everybody, but when it does work for someone, they get so much from it! ;-)

    Don Miller's haiku:

    autumn thunder
    in the distance
    a train whistle

    That pivot line is a neat technique because it also works on as a run-on too, giving an extra pivotal meaning. ;-)

    b. m. richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2006-11-25 18:15:59

    alan and ed, true, everyone (never) appreciate the same haiku.

    a haiku nicety, don't simply list observations.
    there's more to the thunder and/or the whistle than a befalling and their being pivotal...


    the 2:10 train whistle
    out of the darkness--


    funny, at this late hour, i hear a train whistle in the distance, accompanied by the yelps of my neighbor's dog...