Really like how the pivot line can open forward or backward. :-)
Nice image, too.
b. m. richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
2007-08-31 19:04:46
spurred on by a chilling breeze
wavering cat's-tail
going nowhere
Collin Barber
2007-08-31 19:22:10
Robbie,
Enjoyed this one. I agree with the above comments by Josh and Alan. For me, the "unorthodox" line lengths are refreshing. I'm looking forward to reading more of your haiku.
Your "unorthodox" line lengths actually seem to add something to this.
I like the little bit of assonance, too.
Nicely done, Robbie!
Interesting and tight haiku, nice pivot line too!
Really like how the pivot line can open forward or backward. :-)
Nice image, too.
spurred on by a chilling breeze
wavering cat's-tail
going nowhere
Robbie,
Enjoyed this one. I agree with the above comments by Josh and Alan. For me, the "unorthodox" line lengths are refreshing. I'm looking forward to reading more of your haiku.
Collin